So what does BDSM mean, really?

Contrary to popular belief, BDSM isn’t glorified sex, violence, or danger. Although the encompassing term is short for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism, as a practice it’s so much more than that and doesn’t explicitly revolve around sex.

Loosely speaking, BDSM is an umbrella term that encompasses many different activities and is a type of consensual power play (I can’t express the importance of consent enough) involving physical, psychological, and sexual elements. It can also simply involve the exploration of new and different sensations or the acting out of scenes using props.

Exploring power structures including physical or psychological pain, sensory deprivation and sensation play, role play, and incorporating unusual objects into play allows those involved to safely push their limits in a controlled environment where they can confidently express themselves and their desires.

Before diving in, it’s essential that you get educated–most important are areas of consent, which you need to obtain before and throughout the entire experience. The use of safe words, that signal to stop what you’re doing immediately; and after care, where you engage in intimate behaviours like kissing or cuddling to end the experience with care.

If you are new to and curious about BDSM, you are about to discover a whole new world of possibilities that are far beyond the textbook sex you might see in the movies and media.

If you are new to and curious about BDSM, you are about to discover a whole new world of possibilities that are far beyond the textbook sex you might see in the movies and media. While Christian Grey might seem like the ultimate fantasy, the play depicted in the 50 Shades series has strengthened a few common misconceptions about the practice.

As BDSM involves so many types of activities, it’s good to pinpoint what you are interested in trying before you get started.

Is it sensory deprivation like hindering your eyesight to heighten other senses? Or perhaps you want to experience pleasure through pain, like being spanked. Both pleasure and pain interact with similar systems in the brain, allowing one to amplify the other. Role reversal and exploring different dominant and submissive power dynamics to get to know yourself in a different way is another area you might like to explore.

To help you decide, I’ve put together a list of the top 6 entry-level BDSM toys that will take you from BDSM novice to pro.

1. nsnovelties Bondage Couture Vegan Leather Blindfold

If your ears pricked up when I mentioned sensory deprivation, this vegan leather blindfold might be just the thing for you. Made with nickel-free metal hardware and body-safe and phthalate-free materials, you can explore sight-free sex in style. This blindfold also features an adjustable band and sleek curved eye shape to make sure you’ll never be able to peek. Have your partner tease you so your sense of smell, touch and hearing must work overtime–the possibilities are endless with this fun and stylish product.

2. Master Series Finger 4” Double Pinwheel

For those who know much about mindfulness, you’ll know that when you focus your mind intently on something, you discover far more layers to it than you would have ever imagined. Take mindful eating for one–you focus so much on what you’re eating that the flavour, texture, and smell of the food triple in intensity! This is what the double pinwheel is made for. Slow your mind down and give 100 percent of it to this pinwheel and you’ll start experiencing every prick with intense pleasure. Made with 20 small spikes and two rings to clip to a finger, the possibilities are endless. You can have lots of fun with this small toy–you just have to put your mind to it.

3. Adam and Eve Fetish Dreams Vegan Leather Ankle Cuffs

Cute meets bad in these fun but serious padded vegan leather cuffs. Perfect for entry-level BDSM, use these cuffs by strapping your partner’s arms or legs together and experimenting with tease or powerplay. First, establish your safe word and let the fun begin. Featuring adjustable metal-buckle closures and detachable swivel snap hooks for movement, these cuffs are a fun and beginner-friendly way to get naughty with your sexual partner.

4. Pipedream Chain Nipple Clamps with Pendants

Nipple pinching has long been a source of pleasure for men, women, and non-binary people. For some, this sounds nothing like a pleasurable experience, while for others it’s the source of incredible amounts of pleasure. If you’ve ever been curious about nipple pinching, here’s your chance to try. These glamorous nipple clamps take a different approach to the dark-and-harsh BDSM products that you might usually see. Pretty as ever, you can sparkle while you discover new avenues of pleasure. Featuring two comfortable silicone pads and adjustable clamps, this is a must-have for any BDSM collection.

5. XOXO Bella Ball Gag

Here’s a fun one! Explore power play and cut off your partner’s ability to speak (consensually of course) with this sensual mouth gag. Whether you do this during sex or decide to take your dom-sub play out of the bedroom, the gag is a perfect way to assert who’s in charge. Featuring a perforated surface for easy breathing, an adjustable strap at the back and faux-leather materials, it’s the perfect entry-level way into the world of gag use.

6. Pipedream Bondage Rope

Ever dreamed of being tied up by your partner and having them pleasure you any way they want? Now you can live out this fantasy! These luxury Japanese-style bondage ropes are a perfect place to start. Watch a few videos, learn the original shibari-style bondage technique and you’ll take your rope game from novice to pro in no time. Featuring super-soft polyester materials, 0.25” (0.64 cm) thickness and 200 feet (61 m) of rope, the possibilities are endless!

All right, you now have your list of toys for first-time BDSM play! Again, the practice is all about consent, consent, consent. You should always feel safe whether embracing your dominant or submissive side, or other areas of play.

Read more about consent, safe words and after care in the Sharing Secrets article, BDSM Basics: Your Guide To Safety And Consent. So, get your toys, get educated, and step into the fun and exciting world of BDSM play!